Incredibly painful journey shared with so much vulnerability xx thank you for letting us in xxx
this paragraph is an essential message that needs to be shared far and wide: I think what she meant though, and what I believe, is that the strength and resolute that comes with making a decision to stop treatment, is not talked about enough and that we don’t have enough representation in the fertility community, and society broadly, of those who have done that and are living lives they may not have originally expected, but are still filled with hope and happiness (pronatalism and the patriarchy has done a good number trying to make us believe otherwise). They just pivoted their focus and hope towards other dreams and goals.
So much here I could comment on! And agree with. This line especially got me nodding along with you: 'It’s like if you decide to pursue other paths you didn’t try hard enough, didn’t manifest hard enough, didn’t give enough.' The amount we give to a cycle, it's devastating when it doesn't work and all the doctors give you are stats. In the UK, I haven't had results via email before (that one you shared, goodness me), but every follow-up appointment after a failed cycle we've had it was just stats, like we weren't real people. Yes, hope is beautiful and it would be wonderful if that got us all through to the other side, but I also think bravery and courage to change path is necessary. (I also hate the 'warrior' term!). Great piece, xx
Thanks so much Louise! The emotional, physical and financial investment in each cycle is huge and is not met with the appropriate support or signposting of next steps. It's quite appalling. I agree hope is an amazing thing, my hope is pivoting now to a different future that is equally a happy ending, and I think needs to be talked about more and recognised! Thanks for reading the piece xx
Incredibly painful journey shared with so much vulnerability xx thank you for letting us in xxx
this paragraph is an essential message that needs to be shared far and wide: I think what she meant though, and what I believe, is that the strength and resolute that comes with making a decision to stop treatment, is not talked about enough and that we don’t have enough representation in the fertility community, and society broadly, of those who have done that and are living lives they may not have originally expected, but are still filled with hope and happiness (pronatalism and the patriarchy has done a good number trying to make us believe otherwise). They just pivoted their focus and hope towards other dreams and goals.
So much here I could comment on! And agree with. This line especially got me nodding along with you: 'It’s like if you decide to pursue other paths you didn’t try hard enough, didn’t manifest hard enough, didn’t give enough.' The amount we give to a cycle, it's devastating when it doesn't work and all the doctors give you are stats. In the UK, I haven't had results via email before (that one you shared, goodness me), but every follow-up appointment after a failed cycle we've had it was just stats, like we weren't real people. Yes, hope is beautiful and it would be wonderful if that got us all through to the other side, but I also think bravery and courage to change path is necessary. (I also hate the 'warrior' term!). Great piece, xx
Thanks so much Louise! The emotional, physical and financial investment in each cycle is huge and is not met with the appropriate support or signposting of next steps. It's quite appalling. I agree hope is an amazing thing, my hope is pivoting now to a different future that is equally a happy ending, and I think needs to be talked about more and recognised! Thanks for reading the piece xx
Thanks for sharing your story. Beautiful wise words xxx
Oh Nemo! thank you gorgeous. Fancy seeing you here x
Brilliantly written and such an important topic!!
Oof. I felt this really deeply when I read it. More people need to hear these words. Thanks for sharing so eloquently xx