Well, hello

Firstly, thanks for being here and reading my first article. I started this account a little while back and have been procrastinating on my approach and how to start sharing the things I have written, and want to write about. But for now, a tiny little about me and what to expect here.

I have spent the better part of my 30’s trying, unsuccessfully to start a family.

I started off trying because my ex (husband at the time) wanted to, and well, everyone else was doing it. I was on the escalator of life, ticking off what society told me were milestones, not stopping to consider what I truly wanted, or listen my intuition. Its so deeply entrenched in us women to please and consider others isn’t it? Anyway more on this story later. I have a whole other article on that.

I got divorced, then met an upgrade

After several cycles of fertility treatment I got divorced from someone who was so very wrong for me and spent some years revelling in my child free existence, my newly found single freedom, unsure if kids were something I even wanted in my life.

Fast forward to now, and I’m currently in the middle of what I think will be my last IVF/fertility treatment cycle. In the time in between I spent years deeply considering if I wanted children, before finding myself back on the fertility treatment train for the second time in my late 30s. With very much the right person this time.

I’ve got things to say and I have been scared to put the things anywhere.

For what feels like eons I’ve been making notes, thinking and writing about my experiences on the infertility rollercoaster, examining the role of social conditioning in my choices and the deeply entrenched societal norms of what being a successful woman looks like.

What if no one reads what I have to say? What if my writing isn’t clever, witty or smart enough? Does anyone care about what I have to say? I know that’s my inner critic talking, and protecting me from failing. But if we don’t try we stay still and nothing changes if nothing changes.

I believe in telling our stories we deconstruct norms and challenge beliefs

It also allows us to reach and connect with others who might really need to hear our stories. I don’t believe my stories or opinions are special, but they are mine. I certainly believe that there is a need for many more voices to be talking about their nuanced experiences of infertility and womanhood so we can change the common narratives around it. I chose Substack because a fleeting insta reel, post and caption just doesn’t seem like the right space for my goals.

What I’ll be writing about

I work as an Experience Strategist so I can’t help but examine how the experience of fertility treatment could be drastically overhauled. Improving the way humans experience services and products is deeply within me so I will be writing about that, and things like:

• Living in the in between

• Tradition vs intuition

• Purpose through infertility

• The joys of being a non parent

• The sacrifice of IVF

• The false hopes fertility clinics sell us

• The human experience of an infertility journey

• What happens when it doesn’t work.

I hope you’ll join along, and I can’t wait to keep writing, exploring, and connecting on this space.

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